Top Ten

The Top Ten Signs Your Family is Ready for Spring

# 10: The economy size cannister of hot chocolate you bought at Sam's Club in October is empty and everyone is starting to panic.

#9: You can't remember the last time you showered or combed your hair. (Was it yesterday or the day before?)

#8: You check the weather forecast in warm places like Miami and San Diego compulsively and then cry afterward.

#7: You have seriously contemplated painting your bedroom yellow with hopes it will give you a tan.

#6: You've started threatening "old man winter" with bodily harm as if "he" were a real person.

#5: At the YMCA your kids stare blankly at the swimming pool and say in a confused voice, "Play? Water?"

#4: Your eyes feel like they're going to melt when exposed to natural sunlight.

#3: You say, "I want it to be spring." Your husband's response,"People in hell want ice water."

#2: You want to sell all your belongings and relocate your family to the beach where you plan to make a living selling snow cones and friendship braclets.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOUR FAMILY IS READY FOR SPRING....

You can't say the word "winter" without using an expletive before it.

(And just for my posterity...as of March 12, 2008, there are 8 days until the first official day of spring.)